Supporting Self-Efficacy and Self-Validation in Neurodivergent Individuals

As speech-language therapists, we often find ourselves cheering on our clients—celebrating their strengths, encouraging their growth, and offering reassurance when a task is challenging. That encouragement matters. Thoughtful, specific praise can build self-efficacy—the belief that “I can do this.” It helps the recipient internalize a sense of capability and confidence, especially when learning new skills! 

As much as encouragement and praise are valuable, there’s another layer to positive feedback that’s equally important: helping clients learn to validate themselves. 

Why Balance Matters

If all validation comes from the outside—“You did such a great job!” or “I’m so proud of you!”—a person might start to rely on those external voices to feel good about their efforts. While external encouragement is valuable, it shouldn’t be the only mirror someone looks into.

Neurodivergent individuals, in particular, can be at risk of having their inner voice drowned out by others’ opinions—well-meaning or not. Encouraging self-reflection and self-validation helps build resilience, independence, and a strong sense of self. When someone learns to say, “I’m proud of how I handled that,” or “I know I did my best,” it strengthens a deeper foundation of self-confidence.

Encouraging Self-Validation

We believe that parents and caregivers can benefit from implementing this balanced approach just as much as we do in sessions. Here are a few gentle strategies you can try:

• Ask reflective questions instead of offering instant praise: “How did that feel for you?” or “What part are you most proud of?”

• Model self-validation out loud: “I feel good about how I handled that conversation,” or “I made a mistake, but I stayed calm.”

• Celebrate process, not just product:“I saw how much focus you brought to that—your effort really stood out.”

• Use praise as a bridge to internal reflection: “I’m proud of you—and I wonder if you’re proud of yourself too?”

By pairing external encouragement with opportunities for self-recognition, we’re not just cheering from the sidelines—we're helping our clients become their own strongest supporters.